thin lines.

i’ve been wondering if my slight obsession and belief in being able to live a balanced life is more detrimental than it is edifying. there are constant thoughts involving the self vs. the group, personal expectations vs. external demands. i’m finding that in constantly wanting to maintain balance, i’ve become more centered about HOW MUCH i believe in something (so i can pick it apart in order to compromise), rather than WHAT i actually believe in. i don’t know if i view “balance” as a strong way to live any longer. rather, balance is more of an awareness than a lifestyle. in the end, it is our unwavering trust and faith in someone/something that will define us, rather than our ability to “make everything work”… although that’s always a plus, i suppose. i am on existing on one end of the spectrum, but would it be considered unbalanced if i don’t believe there is anything to balance?

also, i need some freakin’ sleep. i’m going to read this later today and kick myself. HA!