Airports. A place of beginnings, endings, reconnections, revisiting… looking forward, yet perhaps glancing back once in awhile.

For as much as I have been blessed to travel in this life.. with my parents when I was younger, going to college for the first time, and subsequent back-and-forth trips between the US and Taiwan, this was the first time that I set foot in an airport terminal wishing that the situation was otherwise.. it only adds onto the irony that I was about to embark on a trip home after almost two years.

It all felt very mechanical.. packing, driving to the airport, getting my ticket, going through security, strapping myself in my seat, and then waiting for the time to pass as I was blasted through the sky in a hollow metal tube with wings.

Right now, there is a great deal of open-ended-ness.. although strangely, I’m concerned less about feelings, and more about approach. I know I cannot… and refuse to be defined by my emotions and what is fleeting, but by the decisions and choices I am choosing to make… and sometimes, there are decisions that were made for me.

To make a long story short, its taken the majority of this year for me realize that, what seemed like a huge blow to my confidence and career, was actually the biggest blessing of my life. The last few months, through the show, though the people that dance has brought into my life, through experiences brought upon Instant Noodles (as dancers, as a crew, but most importantly, people), have actually been more amazing than I could have ever imagined it to be. Because of that, I can’t and refuse to believe that there aren’t bigger and better things are in store. There’s no way this momentary stall is permanent. and I believe that.

In the midst of the anger, the confusion, the frustration.. we have to hang onto our ability to hope, and to trust in the universe that there is something greater that has yet to come. 

photocredit: Amber-colored Specs on Flickr